Stop Sibling Rivalry: 10 Essential Ways to Prepare Your Child for Baby #2

Bringing home a new baby doesn’t just change your life, it changes your older child’s world too.

It’s completely normal for them to feel a mix of excitement, curiosity, confusion, anger, jealousy, clinginess, and even sadness.

These big feelings are common for siblings and can start as early as pregnancy, then continue to show up once the baby arrives and settles in.

Jealousy is especially normal, particularly for younger children who are used to having more of your time and attention. The good news is that, with some intentional preparation and simple daily practices, those feelings can be supported and softened.

Your older child doesn’t have to feel “replaced”, they just need help adjusting to this huge change.

In this post, we’ll walk through:

• 5 ways to prevent sibling challenges before your baby arrives

• 5 ways to handle jealousy and big emotions after your baby is here

Let’s start with what you can do now, while you’re still pregnant or preparing for baby’s arrival.

5 ways to prevent sibling challenges (before baby arrives)

1. Talk about the baby in a positive, age-appropriate way

Most of us try to talk about the baby in a positive way, but it’s easy to slip into the “reality list” of crying, diaper changes, night waking, and how busy you’ll be.

While it’s helpful to be honest, it’s just as important to highlight the sweet moments your child can look forward to.

You can talk about things like:

• Getting to hold the baby (with help)

• Singing or talking to the baby

• Helping choose a toy or outfit

• Teaching the baby something when they’re older

Keep the language age-appropriate.

For toddlers and preschoolers, keep it short, simple, and concrete: “The baby will be very little. They’ll drink milk, sleep a lot, and sometimes cry. We’ll take care of the baby together.”

For older kids, you can add more detail about what life might look like, what babies can and can’t do at first, what noises they might make, and how they can be involved in helping.

Try to keep your tone warm, calm, and hopeful rather than scary or overwhelming. The message you want them to feel is: “This is new, but we’ll figure it out together.”

2. Give your child a special job

Many kids feel more secure when they know they have a role in the family. Giving your child a simple, special job connected to the baby can help them feel proud and included instead of pushed to the side.

Some ideas:

• Helping throw away diapers

• Picking a toy or book for the baby each day

• Singing a “good morning” or “goodnight” song

• Helping you grab the baby’s blanket or pacifier

The key is to make these jobs optional and low-pressure, not something they’re required to do every time. You want them to feel special, not responsible for the baby.

You might say:

• “Would you like to pick a toy for the baby today?”

• “The baby loved the song you sang yesterday. Do you want to sing again?”

Always double-check that the job is age-appropriate and safe. When your child feels like they have an important role, it boosts their confidence and emotional readiness for baby’s arrival.

3. Practice gentle baby interactions with dolls or stuffed animals

For younger children especially, pretend play is one of the best ways to prepare them for life with a baby.

You can:

• Play “family” with dolls or stuffed animals

• Show what soft touches and gentle hands look like

• Practice rocking, feeding, and tucking “baby” in

• Use quiet voices near a “sleeping baby”

This gives you a chance to model how to treat a real baby gently, and it gives them a way to explore their curiosity in a playful, low-pressure way.

And be prepared: your child might do some things in pretend play that look a little wild like dragging the doll by the leg, tossing it on the floor, or squeezing it too hard. This doesn’t automatically mean they’ll do that to the real baby. Play is where kids try things out.

You can calmly respond with: “Real babies need gentle hands. We hold them like this,” and then show them a gentle way to touch or hold.

Use it as a teaching moment, not a reason to panic.

4. Keep their routines as familiar as possible

Routines and predictability equal emotional safety for kids. When life feels predictable, kids feel more secure.

As much as you can, try to keep your child’s core routines steady leading up to the baby’s arrival:

• Morning routines

• Mealtimes

• Bedtime rituals

• Who usually does what (reading stories, doing bath time, etc.)

If possible, try to avoid extra big changes right before baby arrives, such as:

• Switching schools

• Moving bedrooms

• Starting brand-new childcare

Sometimes these changes are necessary and can’t be avoided, and that’s okay. If you can space them out or prepare them gently, it can help your child feel less overwhelmed.

As your due date gets closer, start talking about what might happen when you go to the hospital or birth center:

• Who will stay with them

• Whether they will visit you and baby

• Where they will sleep

• When you hope to come home (in a general way)

Even if you can’t give exact dates and times, giving them a simple “plan” helps them feel more grounded when everything starts to happen.

5. Fill their connection cup daily

This one can feel tricky when you’re tired, sore, and busy preparing for baby, but it’s powerful.

Try to set aside at least 10 minutes of one-on-one time with your child each day. During this time:

• Let them choose the activity

• Put your phone away

• Try to be fully present

It doesn’t need to be fancy or expensive. It might be:

• Playing with their favorite toy

• Reading a book together

• Doing a simple puzzle

• Coloring or drawing

• Having a little “snack date” at the table

This is a great chance to reinforce the idea:

“Mommy always has time for you. You are important to me.”

When their connection cup is full before baby arrives, it can soften the intensity of jealousy later because they’ve already experienced that you care deeply about them and still will.

After baby arrives: five ways to reduce sibling jealousy

Once your baby is here, your older child is suddenly living in a brand-new reality. Their world has changed overnight, and they’re trying to figure out where they fit now. Here’s how you can support them through this transition.

1. Validate their feelings

One of the most powerful things you can do is simply name what they might be feeling.

Kids don’t always know why they’re upset, they just know something feels “off.” When you help put words to their experience, they feel seen and understood.

You might say:

• “You miss our special time, don’t you? It’s okay to miss that.”

• “It’s hard when I’m feeding the baby and can’t play right away.”

• “You’re feeling mad that the baby is on my lap. That makes sense.”

Validation doesn’t mean you agree with every behavior (like hitting or yelling), but it does mean you’re saying:

“Your feelings are real, and you’re allowed to have them.”

When kids feel understood, the intensity of their emotions often softens. They don’t have to scream to be heard.

2. Give them responsibilities that make them feel “big”

Just like before baby arrived, giving your older child a small, meaningful role can help them feel proud instead of pushed away.

You might invite them to:

• Grab wipes, a diaper, or a burp cloth

• Help choose the baby’s outfit

• Hold up a board book and “read” to the baby

• Sit next to you and gently talk or sing to the baby

You can encourage their role by saying things like:

• “The baby loves hearing your voice.”

• “You’re such a kind big sister/brother.”

• “That really helps Mommy when you bring me the wipes.”

The goal isn’t to turn them into a mini-parent, but to show them that they are still incredibly important and valuable in this new family dynamic.

3. Create daily baby-free moments

Finding one-on-one time can feel almost impossible with a newborn, but even 5–10 minutes of baby-free time can make a big difference.

You can:

• Use nap time to play a quick game or read a book

• Ask a partner or trusted adult to hold baby while you hang out with your older child

• Put baby safely in a bassinet, swing, or crib while you give your older child focused attention

And again, it doesn’t need to be a big outing. Some simple ideas:

• Building a quick block tower

• Drawing or coloring together

• Having a small “picnic” snack on the floor

• Taking a short walk to the mailbox or around the block

What matters most isn’t the activity, it’s that they get you, even if just for a short time.

4. Use positive reinforcement for gentle interactions

Any time you notice gentle, kind, or patient behavior toward the baby, say it out loud.

You might say:

• “You were so gentle when you touched the baby’s foot.”

• “I saw how carefully you sat next to the baby. That was so thoughtful.”

• “Thank you for talking softly while the baby was sleeping. That really helped.”

Try to be specific so they know exactly what they did well. Instead of “Good job,” go for:

• “I liked how you held the book so the baby could see.”

• “You kept your hands so soft when you patted their back.”

Specific praise helps them understand what to repeat, and it builds their confidence as a big sibling. They start to see themselves as capable, helpful, and loving, not just “the older one who gets in trouble.”

5. Maintain one-on-one traditions

As much as possible, try to keep some of your pre-baby traditions alive.

That might look like:

• Bedtime stories and snuggles with your older child

• A weekend pancake breakfast

• A “big kid” outing every so often with only you and them

• A nightly “high/low of the day” chat before bed

If you didn’t have traditions before, this is a beautiful time to create one. It doesn’t have to be extravagant. Something as simple as: Every Friday after baby’s in bed, we drink hot chocolate and read a story together.

These kinds of rituals tell your child:

“Our relationship is still here. You haven’t been replaced.”

And that reassurance is huge in easing sibling jealousy and helping them feel secure in your love.

Let's Wrap This Up!

In my own experience, we’ve had really smooth transitions between siblings, but I truly believe it’s because we prepared as a family ahead of time and stayed intentional once the baby arrived.

We made sure each child felt seen, loved, and included, not just before birth, but always. Those small moments of eye contact, one-on-one time, and simple “I see you” reassurance add up more than you know.

✔️Sibling jealousy is completely normal

✔️It doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong

✔️With preparation, patience, and lots of connection, your older child can adjust beautifully

Remember: You’re not just raising siblings, you’re building a family story full of love, learning, and connection.

 ✨If you’d like more support, tips, and real-life guidance for navigating life with a growing family, be sure to subscribe to the Mindfulnest blog so you never miss a new post.

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