How to Soothe Your Newborn’s Cries with Confidence

Juliana Vazquez
Sep 2
4 min read

Long before becoming a little chatterbox, crying is your newborn’s first language.

I know, right?

There’s no…

I’m hot! 🥵

I’m cold! 🥶

My tummy hurts! 🤒

I need you!

Instead we get ear piercing shrieks that make it sound like something horrible is happening.

As frustrating (and sometimes annoying) as it is, it is completely normal for babies to cry a lot, especially in the first 3 months. By the end of this post, you should feel more confident in not only understanding your baby’s cries, but what you can do to (hopefully🤞) soothe them!

I’ve got a free toolkit on Coping with Crying linked at the end if you want to dive deeper.

So why do newborns cry so much anyway?

Imagine you are a baby soft and cozy inside your mom. The sounds are all muffled, the lights are dim, food comes to you as you need it.

Then one day, suddenly the lights are bright, the sounds are loud. You’re

cold

hot

wet

poopy

and worse, you have to alert the grown ups to get food or to be picked up. Suddenly crying = communication.

In case you haven’t guessed already, some of the most common reasons why newborns cry are...

Hunger
Discomfort
Tiredness
Overstimulation
Need for closeness

Crying tends to be the most in the first three months as newborn’s adjust to the new world around them, but be prepared for your baby to cry often well into the first year — actually make that 2 or 3 years.

Remember, their crying is how they communicate with you. With an older baby it can feel like your baby is "manipulating" you by crying when you leave the room, crying the second you put them down, or crying for what seems like nothing at all. It’s not a mind game — your baby’s cries are simply their way of saying, I need you. 💞

I’m sure you're happy (or maybe not so much🙈) to hear that crying is normal, but what are we supposed to do about it?

Since crying = communication, the first step is to check the basics:

Check their diaper
See if they feel too hot or cold
Look for signs of tiredness
Check for other discomforts or pain

If you feel like you have checked everything you can think of and you still can’t pinpoint the reason, try some simple soothing techniques. Things like...

Rocking 🪑
Swaddling
White noise 🌙
Pacifiers
Snuggling with you 🤱

💡FUN FACT: Babies actually love to listen to their mom’s heartbeat. 💓 It is the main sound they hear for all those months of pregnancy, along with your voice of course. Maybe giving baby some skin-to-skin time on your chest will soothe them with a familiar sound.

And all that hard work you are doing to calm your baby, is actually slowly building your relationship.

As silly as it sounds, you are already showing your baby that you are trustworthy, reliable, and someone they can count on to make sure their needs are met.

As you get to know you baby and as they grow, you may start to notice that not every cry sounds the same. Babies can have different cries for...

hunger
tiredness
pain

Tuning in and observing these patterns help you respond more effectively. This can help you determine what their cries mean and what might be the best technique to soothe them.

It’s also helpful to remember that babies need a lot of sleep in the first year and especially in the first 3 months. It can be good to develop a routine for your baby where they...

Eat 🍼
Get a diaper change 💩
Play 🧸
Then go back to sleep 💤
Repeat 🔁

It doesn’t have to run on a strict schedule, but having a consistent routine can make sure that some of those basic needs are being met and may help keep your baby more comfortable and happy.

It may look simple on paper, but in reality it can feel really tough — especially if we feel like we are doing everything right and nothing is working.

My first born used to cry for hours and

hours and I kept wondering what I was doing wrong, especially as a new mother, or what was wrong with her because I could not seem to figure it out. She finally started to become a happier baby around 3 months old, but up until that point I had a lot of feelings of frustration and exhaustion.

If you get to the point where you are feeling overwhelmed from the crying, then it’s time to take a step back and make sure you prioritize everyone’s safety. This could look like laying your baby in a safe spot like their crib while you go in the other room for a few minutes to take some deep breaths and decompress. 🧘

While it’s not ideal and it’s certainly not going to help baby calm down, you also need to be in a place mentally and emotionally where you can keep your baby safe while trying to soothe them.

It’s also important to use your instincts as a parent. If you feel like there is something off — listen to it. Talk to your baby’s doctor if...