10 Things I Wish I Knew Before Baby Arrived

Parenthood doesn’t come with a manual, although we all wish it did. 📖

You’re handed that brand-new baby at the hospital, maybe shown how to swaddle or change a diaper, and then suddenly the rest is up to you.

Sure, there are parenting books, and friends or family who offer advice, but it still feels wild that something with so much impact on another human life has no clear guide.

The weight of parenting can feel heavy. We all want our children to be...

• Smart🧠

• Kind💖

• Do well in school✏️

• Thrive in life🚀

and it often feels like that responsibility rests entirely on our shoulders.

It’s common to feel overwhelmed. Every child is new (even if you’ve parented before) and the thought of making all the “right” choices while also learning the basics of baby care and developmental milestones can be daunting.

👉 Stick with me, because by the end of this post, I believe you’ll feel more confident in yourself as a parent. Here are 10 honest lessons that have truly helped me, and I know they can make your journey easier too.

1. Every Child Grows on Their Own Timeline

One of the first lessons to take to heart is that there’s a wide range of what’s “typical” in infants, and honestly, for everyone. 🌱

The pressure starts the moment you talk with other parents:

“My baby sat up at five months.”

“Mine was already walking by then.”

“We use these toys to boost development.”

Suddenly, it feels like your baby needs to hit every milestone right on time, or risk falling behind.😰

That pressure only builds at pediatric appointments when doctors ask...

• Is your baby rolling yet?

• Smiling?

• Putting sounds together?

Before your baby’s even a year old, it can seem like they’re not measuring up.📉

But here’s the truth: every child grows on their own timeline, and that can even differ from older siblings. Their progress isn’t a reflection of what you are (or aren’t) doing.

The best thing we can do is remind ourselves not to compare our little ones to others, even within our own family.🙅‍♀️

2. Sleep is a Rollercoaster

Sleep is not linear and the sooner you accept that, the better. 😴

We’re often fed the idea that as babies grow, they’ll neatly progress from waking once a night to sleeping straight through, but that’s rarely reality. 🌙

Online and on social media, you’ll see sleep-training programs or proud posts about babies sleeping through the night at six weeks, and while some little ones do, that’s not the norm.

For most families, sleep comes in waves🌊: stretches of rest followed by rough patches. Here are some quick take-aways about sleep:

 💤Sleep regressions are a normal part of the first few years.

 💤Triggers can include illness, teething, or mastering new developmental milestones.

 💤As children get older, stressors, changes in routine, or even nightmares can disrupt their sleep.

💤Adults also go through restless nights or trouble falling asleep.

Sleep patterns naturally ebb and flow at every age. It’s all part of healthy development.

3. The “Good Enough” Parenting Rule

One of the most meaningful lessons I’ve learned about parenting is the "Good Enough" parenting rule. 👨‍👩‍👧

It’s the idea that you don’t need to be a perfect parent (spoiler: that doesn’t exist).

What actually matters is showing up: spending real, quality time with your child, responding to their needs in a timely and genuine way, and being emotionally present. 💞

You might be thinking, “I try, but there’s just not enough time in the day.”

The good news?

Decades of child development research shows you don’t need to get it right all the time.

In fact, studies suggest that parents are only in tune with their child’s needs about 30% of the time, and that’s still enough to build a strong, secure bond.🤝

The key isn’t perfection: it’s connection and repairing the moments when things don’t go smoothly.

Hopefully, that takes some pressure off the impossible goal of being a “perfect parent.”🌈

🔍The Research

The "Good Enough" Parenting Rule comes straight out of child development research.

4. Feeding = More Than Food

Feeding your baby can feel like it takes over your entire day; especially in those early months of eating every 2–3 hours, pumping, and during cluster feeds. 🍼

It’s time-consuming, often messy, and sometimes exhausting.

But reframing it as a built-in opportunity for connection can make it feel more meaningful.

Whether you’re breastfeeding, formula feeding, or starting solids, use those moments for:

• Eye contact 👀

• Smiles 😊

• Gentle talking 🗨️

• Singing 🎵

• Little games like peekaboo 🙈

Feeding may never be quick or glamorous, but it can become one of the sweetest ways to bond throughout your day.

5. Your Identity Will Change

Whether you like it or not, becoming a parent will change who you are and having a child not only shifts your priorities, but also gives you new ways of seeing the world through their eyes. ✨

Things that once felt like a big deal may suddenly not matter.

Little things that barely registered before might now feel huge.

These shifts are completely normal and feeling a mix of emotions about it is okay. 💛

For some parents, the transition feels natural. You may not sense a loss

at all, and only see what you gain. 🌟

For others, there can be a period of mourning as you miss parts of your old self while adjusting to the person you’re becoming.

Both experiences are valid, and both are part of the journey. 🌸

6. Self-Care Isn’t Selfish

Although we’re often told that putting yourself first is selfish, when it comes to parenting, it deeply shapes the kind of parent you can be. 👶

Now, this doesn’t mean treating yourself like the most important person in the universe and ignoring everyone else.

What it does mean is making sure you care for yourself, both physically and emotionally, because if you’re not at your best, how can you be your best for your child? 🌱

Taking breaks and giving yourself the care you need actually makes you a stronger parent. 💪

This doesn’t have to be anything big or fancy: just small things you can weave into your daily life:

• Get as much rest as you can 😴

  
  

• Find simple ways to move your body

  
  

• Ask for help from family or friends 🤝

7. Building Baby’s Resilience

There’s often a big emphasis on self-soothing: how quickly and easily a child can calm themselves. But this is a common misconception. 🤱

❌

Young children, especially babies, actually need a significant amount of physical comfort—hugs and snuggles—from a trusted adult. 🤱

For babies, this consistent comfort is essential when they’re:

• Sad 😢

• Sick 🤒

• Scared 😨

• Uncomfortable 😕

The more you can provide that closeness, the stronger the foundation

you build for the future.

Over time, those early moments of comfort help your child learn how to manage big feelings: first with your support, and later on their own. 🌟

8. You Don’t Have to Love Every Minute

As I’m sure you’ve gathered, parenting is a monumental task—and it’s hard work. 💪

It can feel daunting to realize that parenting doesn’t really have an end date; you’re in it for the long haul.

It’s easy to feel guilty when you realize you’re not enjoying every step of the journey.

But honestly? You're not the only one. 💛

You’re not going to enjoy every stage, and some phases will be easier while others will be much harder.

The key thing to remember is this: loving your baby does not mean you have to love every single part of parenting.

9. Community is Everything

Parenting can feel really isolating, especially in that first year when your baby needs so much of your time, energy, and patience.

Try to lean on the support you already have, whether that’s

your partner

friends

experienced parents who’ve been through it before.

If your support network doesn’t feel strong enough, look for parenting groups in your area. 🏡You can often find them through community agencies, hospitals, or even online if that’s more comfortable for you. 🌐

Just knowing you have someone (or a group of people) you can turn to for venting, encouragement, or questions can make parenting feel a little less lonely. 💬✨

10. Asking for Help Is Strength

Parenting can sometimes feel like a do-it-yourself project, which only adds to that sense of isolation. 😔

Asking for help can feel hard, but it’s really a brave reminder that you’re human. 💛 None of us are built to handle it all on our own.

Help might come from your support circle like friends or family, 🤝but it can also mean reaching out to professionals like:

• Doctors 🩺

• Lactation consultants 🤱

• Therapists 🧑‍⚕️

Remember, asking for help doesn’t just mean getting support for your baby, it also means getting support for you when you need it.

Caring for your little one starts with caring for yourself. ✨

Let's Wrap This Up!

✔️The perfect parent doesn’t exist, so don’t strive for it

✔️The key is prioritizing connection and repairing when things don’t go as planned

✔️Caring for your baby starts with caring for you

✔️Comparing babies = stress, not support

✔️Use the supports you have when you need a break or advice

Remember: Parenting can feel heavy and isolating, but you were never meant to carry it by yourself.

 ✨Want more real-life tools and encouragement?

👇 Enroll in my course on surviving the first year to feel more confident and supported through every stage of infancy.